Friday, 17 July 2015

At the Local Court





On the announcement of the planned closure of scores of local magistrates, county and (some) crown courts in England and Wales.
With apologies to Flanders and Swann who wrote "Slow Train" on the closure of many branch line stations.


At the Local Court


No more will I go
To Hammersmith, Greenwich or London Bow,
To the local court at Bury St Edmunds or Dolgellau.
No pipe-smoking usher, no volunteers' tea
At Oldham or Ormskirk, Stroud or Torquay
No more trials to be fought
At the local court.

My wig and my gown
Won’t travel again to Barnstable Crown.
In Bury and Morpeth I’ll never see the circuit judge frown.
No warrants suspended, no felon bound over
In Chichester, Eastbourne, Prestatyn or Dover.
No damages sought
At the local court.

Handwritten orders in copperplate lettering.
Gathering dust in Hinckley and Kettering.
No miscreant nervously speaks
To the Macclesfield beaks.
No CPS rep rising to his feet at Chippenham.

No-one to defend, no-one to litigate
In Rotherham, Redhill, Wrexham or Reigate
They’ve all met their fate.
At the local court.

At the local court.
"Will the Defendant please rise."
At the local court.
Fareham and Altrincham,
St. Albans, Tunbridge Wells.

At the local court.

Bridgend.



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